What NOT To Do In A Relationship
Suffice to say that there is no "one size fits all" advice which can apply to every relationship. In addition to this blog, I suggest you refer to this post as well; https://femalecomplexities.wixsite.com/blog/single-post/2018/08/20/Christian-Courtship---Whats-The-Point It is about the concept of courtship and it's advantages. The relationships under consideration here are those of a romantic nature :)
So, with that in mind, you are a Christian and you intend to get into a courtship, here are some pitfalls to look out for. Ideally this is before the courtship begins:
1. Don't start a relationship if you don't share the same core values. Sounds simple enough right? Yet so many ignore this at the start of a potential relationship only to have the disappointment of a break up or other heart aches down the line. Values will affect your relationship for example how to handle money, the importance of God in your life, whether you interpret the Bible in roughly the same way..
2. Don't keep a relationship with the view that the other person will change. Think instead, am I prepared to be with this person for a lifetime, if they remain the same? Remember that no-one should be forced to changed but encouraged to develop and it's each individuals decision whether and when to truly change.
3. Don't be selfish. This is a tricky suggestion to actually implement. My husband suggested it. It applies throughout life and with all relationships. When we are too focused on ourselves we fail to realize how our decisions affect others. Great relationships are those where both parities are looking out for the other person as well as their own interests.
4. Don't lie. Particularly about anything that relates to who you are, what you believe or what you do. Lies when uncovered can lead to a loss of trust. Trust is extremely hard to re-build and some find it difficult to truly forgive and even when they do, you must demonstrate that their trust in you is merited or vice versa.
5. Don't cheat (or be unfaithful to the commitment and agreements you have made as a couple). Notice how I clarified what cheating is. Many these days what to deal in technicalities e.g. "I never actually met him/her in person, so it wasn't really cheating." Well, even if that may be the case, wouldn't it be a betrayal of trust to go behind someones back and participate in conversations or activities which are supposed to be exclusive to you as a couple?
Consider again how this could breakdown trust that has been built over time and then think of what it would take to re-build that trust.
DO look out for patterns and what they might mean. Are you always finding yourself in shouting matches? Do most of your romantic relationships breakdown when things start to get serious? Are you not starting to date anyone even if you'd like to? The reason to do some analysis is to try to spot any trends that may be forming or may have formed. Next, would be to see if you are making the same choices and if the results are what you'd like for your future.
If you do want to date or are currently courting, the don't tips are important and the DO tip even more so. Cultivate good habits early in the relationship. It'll shape how it develops.